Too Close for Comfort: How Emotional Stress Can Cause Premature Ejaculation
He can only keep himself from premature ejaculation when he doesn’t know the woman he’s having sex with. When he gets close to a woman, he can no longer keep himself from ejaculating too soon. Why is this?
Case #:1962
Concern:
I have a strange problem. When I meet girls at bars or clubs, and bring them back to my place, I can last all night without cumming. But when I’m in a relationship, as soon as it starts getting serious, I start having problems with cumming too quick. I don’t understand what’s happening! Why is it only when I’m in a relationship that I cum so fast?
Discussion:
It sounds as though you start having sexual problems when you start to have feelings for a person. When you don’t care about the other, or don’t worry about what they think of you—beyond the moment—then you can keep going and going. However, when you’re in a relationship, there are all sorts of other stressors occurring in your mind during the sex act. These can undermine your ability to stop yourself from ejaculating.
Easy as Pie
When you bring a girl home from the club, you both know what you’re after. Sex. And that’s usually it. Or, it’s enough for you. You don’t have to think about her feelings, her likes, her dislikes—beyond anything egregiously upsetting, such as coprophilia or anal—it’s all fun and games, and you can go all night.
More Than Meets the Eye
But when you’re with a girl you’re actually interested in, all sorts of other issues come into play. You wonder if she’s enjoying it, if you’re big enough, if she’s had better; you might even worry about her true feelings for you, where your relationship is going—all sorts of things. And these issues don’t just stay in your head. Each and every worry you have affects your body, through neurochemistry.
Stress Test
I’m sure you’ve heard a million times that stress is the enemy to a happy sex life. This is because stress is caused by cortisol, which has all kinds of sexually negative effects on the body. One of the ways cortisol destroys sex lives is by literally destroying the parasympathetic nerves of the penis. Well, not completely destroying, but weakening to a point where they don’t function properly anymore.
In this state, any little unforeseen jolt, tingle, or bump (even mental!) during sex can cause you to go off. This is your problem. You need to remove the cortisol from your body, before it can build up and do damage to your sex life.
Cleanse and Cure
There are a number of herbs that can help your body relax and let go of stress, and no, the number one herb is not marijuana. MJ can actually be detrimental to a proper sexual response; so don’t go self-medicating with that!
I’d recommend an herbal compound, specifically designed to deal with the effects of stress. Licorice, interestingly, has a very soothing effect on the entire nervous system, and a little-known herb called Schisandra is a powerful restorative for the male sexual system. (SEE: Performance Anxiety Reduction & Stress Control Formula) By taking this rejuvenating supplement, you’ll be able to succeed in your normal sexual relations, while still in a relationship. No more late night trips out for a booty call—you can settle down and make it work with the one you’ve got. Good luck!
What to do
Ways to Eliminate Stress & Reduce Performance Anxiety
Stress causes early ejaculation and many erectile dysfunctions by overexciting the sympathetic nerves, produce unhealthy stress hormones, and weakening the parasympathetic nerves controlling the ejaculation valve. Exposure to a long-term stressful...
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