New Husband Can’t Fill the Hole

Her prior marriage allowed for lots of sex with a man that was well endowed, an 8 inch penis. Now, she feels stretched out.

Case #: 805

Concern：

I was married for 11 years. After I got a divorced, I bought those car stickers with the stick-figure version of my family. In the place where my husband’s name and stick figure would have gone, I placed an empty space between my stick figure and my kids with an arrow pointing toward the spot that read “Position Open.” After my divorce, I quickly remarried.

Now happy again, I feel something is missing. My previous husband was well endowed. He measured around 8 inches—around—ok, maybe not that big, but he was large. And after years of sex, I feel as if he stretched me out. Now, I hardly feel anything with my current husband. I am a 47-year-old mother of two. What could have caused the stretching and what can be done to reverse the issue?

Discussion：

Firstly, there is no way for a vagina to be stretched out due to sex. The vagina naturally expands during arousal to comfortably fit a penis of almost any size. While sex may feel tighter with better-endowed men, there is no risk of your vagina being permanently loosened due to sex. Secondly, depending on when you had your children, you probably weren’t left much larger than you began, if larger at all. If you had your children while still young—twenties or less—than your vagina snapped back to essentially its original shape. The real reason you’re feeling looser is due to your hormonal changes. At 47, you’re going through menopause.

Menopausal Misfortunes

It might be a relief to know that what you’re experiencing is the norm for almost every woman at some point during her menopausal journey. Beginning around age 35, a woman’s hormones begin to drop precipitously, creating all sorts of issues until the body finally comes to terms with the new state of things. Unfortunately, that new state of things can be a rough one, especially if you’re not undergoing hormone replacement therapy. As estrogen levels dip, the body stops lubricating the vagina, creating an unpleasant dry environment where there never was one before. Low estrogen also causes a thinning of the vaginal and urethral walls, which can cause pain similar to a urinary tract infection in the urethra, and looser, less-sensitive tissue in the vagina. Not only that, but the weakened walls sometimes become unable to hold everything in place like they once could, resulting in bladder or uterine prolapse. Yikes! But you can combat these issues; all it takes is a little more estrogen.

An Easy Fix

Because you’re strictly citing issues in your vaginal area, I’d recommend a topical estrogen cream. By using a topical supplement, rather than a pill, you can ensure that the estrogen remains localized—removing some of the worries of additional estrogen intake. The cream can be used in the vagina and vulval area to increase tissue strength, thickness, and tone—effectively tightening your vagina and protecting your bladder, uterus, and clitoris in one fell swoop. Increasing estrogen to those areas can also result in regained feeling and sexual enjoyment—with healthy tissues and circulation comes better sensation.

Holistic Health

As you’re going through menopause, which results in a decrease in several important female hormones, I’d recommend beginning an herbal supplement designed to restore your levels of estrogen, progesterone, and DHEA. (TRY: Herbal Formula for Vaginal Restoration) Natural supplements help by working systemically to restore and rejuvenate the body, but without adding more hormones. Some plants naturally contain estrogenic, androgenic and progesteronic compounds, which the body can safely use to increase its levels of those hormones. I’m sure that by realigning your hormonal levels, sex will once again be an activity of pleasure for your and your husband.