I Don’t Want to Stop Being on Top!

Girlfriend has issues with girl-on-top positions during sex. Is it because of the size of his penis? Is there anything she can do to stop sex from hurting so much?I find that when I am having sex with boyfriend and I am on top, it hurts. Well, I get satisfaction to an extent but I know that I can’t enjoy it anymore. I love being in control and this hinders that because I don’t feel comfortable when I am "riding" him. I want to know if I can do anything to prevent this discomfort or if there is anything he can do. Or can it be because he has a big penis? It is 8 inches.

Case #: 815

Concern：

I find that when I am having sex with boyfriend and I am on top, it hurts. Well, I get satisfaction to an extent but I know that I can’t enjoy it anymore. I love being in control and this hinders that because I don’t feel comfortable when I am "riding" him. I want to know if I can do anything to prevent this discomfort or if there is anything he can do. Or can it be because he has a big penis? It is 8 inches.

Discussion：

Because you only feel pain when in a girl-on-top position, I would say that yes, it is the size of your partner’s penis that is creating the problem. When a woman is on top, she is able to take in a lot more of her partner’s penis than in the usual missionary position. While a woman’s vagina can expand to accommodate up to nine inches of penis, if you don’t allow your body time to make that adjustment, you could end up in more pain than pleasure. Let me give you a few suggestions on how to handle a well-endowed partner.

Your Body and You

During female sexual response, the clitoris, g-spot, labia, and vagina all become engorged with blood. This creates a much stronger sensation, as there is both increased surface area and a better flow of neurotransmitters between the nerves and brain, such as dopamine, the pleasure chemical. By concentrating on other areas of the body, such as the breasts, hormones are released that increase enjoyable sensations, and decrease the transmission of pain signals. Oxytocin is one of those hormones, and it also serves to improve orgasm, because it is the hormone that controls uterine contractions. The uterus also lifts itself off of the vagina, in what’s known as “tenting”; increasing room inside the vagina.

Take Your Time

When you’re planning on being on top, make sure you have allowed ample time for your body to become aroused and respond accordingly. It takes twenty minutes for a woman to go from zero arousal to completely aroused, and during that time you could certainly help things along. Extended kissing, viewing erotic material, sensual massages, stimulation of the breasts, cunnilingus, and onanism can all help your body prepare to accommodate such a large intruder. In fact, there are many positions in the Kama Sutra that require a woman to be fully aroused before beginning, in order that the position might be pleasurable and not painful. Do whatever makes you feel turned on, because by “warming up” you’ll find yourself enjoying sex much more. I’d also suggest taking an ibuprofen or two, if you’re going to go right into it. Ibuprofen reduces swelling and pain sensation, and could help your body handle such a large item without the pain, and will keep you from being sore later.

Poised for Success

If you have allowed your body the time to acclimate to the increased length, you should not experience the same levels of pain you have been. It might be that you need to begin in another position, perhaps one with high levels of clitoral contact, and then move on to being on top. A modified version of girl-on-top involves you literally squatting over the man, instead of straddling him. This gives you depth control that straddling doesn’t. Forewarning: your quads are going to burn, unless you’re a gate-jumper.

Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

To finish off (no pun intended), you ought to try an herbal formula designed to reduce intercourse pain. (TRY: Herbal Tincture for Intercourse Pain) Some of the plants are natural pain-relievers, some help increase proper circulation to remove pain-inducing chemicals, and some balance hormone levels. By beginning a supplement that includes these functions, you will see soon see better results in your girl power position. Good luck!